Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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