Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
