sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize