That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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