If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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