He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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