The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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