no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
