dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
