he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
