Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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