I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
