ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
