marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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