I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
