dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
