Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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