I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
