I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
