but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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