garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
