YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize