I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Found your dick twin last night
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
