tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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