the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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