"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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