You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
