I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
