i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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