Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize