It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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