New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
