sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
