therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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