Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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