You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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