K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
