her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize