Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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