It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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