Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
