What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
