I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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