She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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