he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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