Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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