mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I touched a dick in church today
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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