With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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