eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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