so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
It was confusing and full of hummus
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Randomize
