im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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