Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize