I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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