Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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